When Forever Ends
by MauMaster
Summary: Magnus knew he was lucky to have so many things. He just wasn't sure what they were. Some nights, the nights when he was alone in bed, he'd lay there and try to remember. He just knew they were there, somewhere in his mind.


**Title: **When Forever Ends

**Summary: **_Magnus knew he was lucky to have so many things. He just wasn't sure what they were. Some nights, the nights when he was alone in bed, he'd lay there and try to remember. He just knew they were there, somewhere in his mind._

**Notes: **So. I don't know how many of you remember the shortlived "Forever Doesn't Last" that I took down so I could use the concepts for an original work. But this is basically the premise of that in oneshot form. Quite different, it takes place twenty years later or so. Malec angst abound! I don't want to spoil too much, but basically, Alec wants to be immortal with Magnus and so, he aquires Simon's help.

I'm sort of a sucker for Alec/Simon friendship. Actually, I'm sort of a sucker for Alec/almost anyone friendship or family. It's so easy to make it awkward or comfortable or whatever. I'm actually working on another AU thing (god knows when I'll be done...) where Alec and Simon are friends and though you won't really see the friendship (it's centering on Magnus), I may or may not write a few universe oneshots to accompany it. But that's just far hoping... I haven't even gotten Malec together in that one and I'll likely have to split it into chapter because it's damn long.

_Another quick note_ - I'm doing NaNo this month, so don't expect to really see me. I _do_ have some stuff on file, finished, that I may post, though. Wish me luck on the road to insanity!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mortal Instruments, Cassandra Clare does. But, oh boy, have you seen those teasers on her site? The Malec is gonna get GOOD and so is the Simon drama! (I'm particularly in love with the October Malec teaser, where Alec asks Magnus who Will was. _I'm_ curious to see what he says because I recently wrote a MagnusxWill ficlet...)**

* * *

Magnus knew he was lucky to have so many things. He just wasn't sure what they were.

Some nights, the nights when he was alone in bed, he'd lay there and try to remember. He just knew they were there, somewhere in his mind.

Magic. He was thankful for magic. He was insanely lucky for his position, too – High Warlock of Brooklyn isn't something just anybody can get hired for. It paid well.

He snapped his fingers to conjure a glass, to put that magic to good use. Leaning on one elbow, he sat up to take a sip of his wine.

He was lucky for that, too, now that he thought about it.

Magic, money, and drinks.

He supposed he ought to feel blessed with his looks. It wasn't like his personality was what got all those people – men and women – to come home with him and help him forget. He was an utter asshole and he knew it. A total downer. Not even Isabelle checked in on him anymore, and she had been the one most of his side after That Night.

Then again, she was getting older. Perhaps not _old_, but older. They all were. Clary and Jace's oldest was turning eighteen in a week. Magnus had gotten an invitation to the party, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to go. The kid didn't know him well. He was just the warlock that his parents used to be friends with.

And Simon might be there. Magnus knew if he saw that little rat, he might strangle him.

Logically, he couldn't be. Logically, Simon couldn't step foot near the party. Logically, Magnus knew that if he didn't make an appearance, someone would come and barge into his apartment and then he'd really regret it because they'd break down the door, or at least scuff it, and Jace would try to clean the perfect mess, and he just didn't want it.

It didn't stop him from holding back.

He finished the drink and leaned back on the pillows. There were just two more things he was lucky to have. His hand brushed the Book of White on the bedside table, but there was no spell to look up tonight. His fingers found the stiff paper sticking out of the old pages and tugged it out.

Alec. Alec before That Night. Alec before he ruined his own life, before he ruined both of their lives.

He was smiling in the photo, though not as much as Magnus. He never smiled as much as Magnus. He just grinned enough to see his teeth, never beamed. But Magnus remembered his lips, warm, and soft, and just perfect.

The photo and the memories. The most important things he was lucky to have.

* * *

Alec stared in the mirror and flattened out his hair for the seventh time. "I'm not going," he said dully.

Simon was running around the apartment with balloons and presents and food. He stopped short behind Alec and gave him a glare through their reflection. "You are."

"Am not."

"Will you stop acting like a teenager?" Simon snapped and handed him a box. "Carry that."

"I _am_ a teenager. I'm nineteen." Alec looked over his shoulder, as if daring Simon to contradict.

He didn't. He just shrugged. "Your choice. And you're going. It's your nephew's birthday."

"He looks as old as me."

"Congrats, you've accomplished staying young. A lot of people would kill for that. And you're still coming." Simon checked his watch. "Shit. We're going to be late."

"He might be there."

Simon was on his way to the refrigerator. "So, we should eat now, but Clary said that they have a stock of blood for us at the Institute, so we ought to be fine."

"I _said, _he might be there. I'm not going." Alec knew he wasn't going to win the fight, but he could try. He brushed his hair again. It wasn't laying flat. It looked too dark against his pale skin.

"Yeah? Well, Isabelle is definitely going to be there, and do you remember what happened last time I saw her?" Simon handed him a bottle of blood which he downed greedily. The books were right – vampires were always hungry. The thirst was never gone.

Alec wiped his mouth and winced. "I remember," he sighed. "I told her to lay off you. I always do. It was all my idea." He ran his fingers over the scar that ran across his neck, then pulled up his turtleneck.

"She's on Magnus's side, remember? She blames both of us. Are you driving or am I?"

Alec stared at the keys in Simon's hands. They were technically his keys – he had bought the car, it was his. It had his key from the Institute, never used anymore. It had his car keys and the keys to the apartment. And it had the key to Magnus's place.

He had considered going back. There were nights when he'd lay in bed, pondering what the warlock's reaction would be if he woke up to Alec sitting on the floor, begging for forgiveness, begging for _him_. It would be easy to do. He'd just take the key and slip in, unnoticed. He doubted that Magnus changed the lock.

But he remembered the look on Magnus's face too clearly when he found out about his change. Alec had perfected it, split it into steps that anyone could follow.

First was the livid look. It was during that one that he threw Simon against the wall and screamed about how he was going to murder him. It took Mrs. Lewis, Jace, Mayrse, and Isabelle to hold him back.

When Magnus spat that it was all Simon's fault, that Simon had done this to Alec, Robert had to restrain Izzy.

Then Alec found the courage to talk. Here came the hurt look, the one of complete disappointment and heartbreak. He explained his plan to Magnus, how carefully he'd planned this surprise. He was immortal. Magnus was immortal. They could be together forever now. It had all been for him.

Magnus screamed at him now. How he didn't want this for Alec. How he couldn't believe someone would do something so stupid, even in the name of love. Called Alec an idiot. Told him he had screwed everything up. And then stormed out.

Alec followed, but he wished he hadn't. When he followed, the look of heartbreak got more and more intense, until it turned to hatred. That was the last time Magnus touched him, the last time they kissed.

_You're dead, you're dead_, Magnus said. _You're a walking corpse, just a damn walking corpse!_

_But I'm not_, Alec tried to convince him. He stepped forward carefully. Magnus had easily overpowered Simon, who had been a vampire for years. Alec was new to the world, to this vision and strength. _I'm alive. And we're together forever._

Magnus's hand caressed his cheek. _You're cold. _Rested over his heart and gave Alec flutters in his stomach. _Your heart doesn't beat. _Magnus kissed him more gently than Alec expected, since the hate was starting to set into his eyes. _And your teeth are razor sharp. You're **undead**. And that's dead enough for me. You killed yourself. Forever apparently ends now. Eternity? Not a chance in hell. You've got a while ahead of you._

He walked out of the house and Alec never saw him again.

Simon had seen him. He'd seen Isabelle, too. Alec had only met his nieces and nephews twice and the results had been painful for Simon. When him and Clary met up, they went off on their own, away from everyone. According to Simon, Isabelle was married. According to Simon, she had a kid.

Alec never bothered to find out if what Simon said was true. He didn't care anymore. Unless someone told him Magnus was dead, or had another partner, or was hurt, or sick, or anything, he didn't care.

"You drive," he whispered.

Simon nodded slowly. "Okay."

* * *

If Magnus had been given the opportunity to plan the party, it would have been very different. Not some measly thing at the Institute. But the Lightwoods didn't talk to him much anymore, so he didn't get a chance to volunteer.

He probably wouldn't have anyway. He preferred spending his days working until he collapsed from magic use. And if he wasn't tired enough, he'd find a bar and a cute guy or girl to distract himself.

Never a Downworld bar, though. Just mundies who had no idea about his world. They were safer. He never wanted to see a vampire again.

Nevertheless, he was enjoying himself. A drink in hand while he chatted with Isabelle and her husband, Nicholas (who, admittedly, wasn't bad looking compared to the eldest Lightwood), things seemed not normal but bearable.

"Hannah! I told you to stop hitting Michael with sticks!" Isabelle shouted across the backyard. Magnus looked over – her daughter had been beating her older cousin for several minutes before anyone but he noticed. She was a mini Isabelle, down to clothing and attitude.

And Michael was a little Jace, while his twin, Marie, was a little _female_ Jace. Magnus had spoken to them long enough to see that they were mostly Clary's children inside, but the thought was still frightening for when they were old enough to understand innuendos. They were already twelve. He had caught them giggling over something they shouldn't have understood at all.

"You were saying?" Magnus prodded after the fight was broken up.

Isabelle brushed a piece of hair out of her face. "Oh, just how I had been telling Nick all about the first time we met."

Magnus smiled. "You were drunk. I spoke to your brother for most of the time. And Clary." He sighed. "Is she really still annoying?"

There was a shriek from the gates and a loud yelp that could only belong to a sixteen year old boy.

Isabelle narrowed her eyes. "She insisted on inviting _him_, didn't she?"

Magnus gazed at the red head who was currently attacking the pale boy. If he hadn't known what the little bastard had done, he would have felt slightly sorry. "I'll take that as a yes."

Nicholas laughed. "Clary's not that bad."

"Hey, Izzy?" Magnus smiled, feeling a little sense of himself from pre-That Night.

"Yes?" She was distracted now, watching Hannah with hawk eyes. The girl was attempting to climb the side of the cathedral like the twins. "Kids, get down, you'll get hurt!"

"Do we have any fairies in attendance? Or fairy drinks, perhaps?"

Isabelle turned a glare to him. "He won't go near any odd colored potions anymore, and you know he won't accept anything from you. As much as I'd like to see him as a rat again, it's not worth the effort. Oh, shit, Nicholas, he's coming here. Hold my bag."

Magnus smiled sympathetically at her husband, who helplessly took the purse. He was so whipped, it was hilarious.

"Izzy, maybe you two could just talk," Nicholas said good naturedly. Magnus wondered if he knew the story and decided that he didn't feel bad for the man anymore. He stepped forward and crossed his arms, shoulders touching with Izzy.

Simon was alone, paler than even a vampire should be, and empty handed.

"You came and didn't bring a gift for Oliver?" Izzy said icily.

If this greeting threw Simon, he didn't show it. "Alec's bringing the gifts in," he said and glanced to the gate. "If he hasn't run, that is. I wouldn't be surprised…" he muttered.

"Alec is here?" Magnus asked.

He thought Alec was totally estranged from his family. Isabelle hadn't mentioned contact with him in years. And Mayrse and Robert – well, Magnus didn't talk to them too often. He thought that they blamed him for everything about their eldest son. He was the one that convinced Alec to come out and to become a vampire. Two big shames in the Shadowhunter world and both linked back to Magnus.

He was secretly terrified every time he spoke to them.

Simon nodded. He was avoiding eye contact with both. "I had to practically drag him. But he ought to see his nephew turn eighteen. It's a big year."

Sweaty faced Jace ran up to the huddle. It was pretty hot outside. "Isabelle, Magnus, I just want to warn you that Alec just got out of the car and I think Mayrse is going either cry or totally ignore him and – Michael! Marie!" He had caught sight of the little wannabe Spidermen.

"Yeah, Dad?" Marie asked, climbing further still.

He shielded his eyes from the sun to look up at them. "You're doing good, just don't let Mom catch you."

"Okay!" Michael yelled back.

Magnus wondered is Jace would regret it is one of them fell. But they wouldn't fall – they were angel children.

They stood in complete silence for a moment. It was obvious that Jace and Simon had already had their reunion.

The gate creaked open and Magnus's breath caught. He needed another drink.

Alec dumped the salad platter and the boxes on the first table he could find. Nobody greeted him. He didn't expect them to. He was the unspoken of in the Shadow World.

Simon had been greeted with screams and hugs. Alec didn't mind this inconspicuous entrance, but it wasn't as inconspicuous as he'd hoped.

Everyone stopped talking and turned to stare.

Not at all close.

Clary was the first to run up to him. "Hi, Alec," she murmured and pulled him into a hug. This seemed to be the signal for the party to go on. Conversations resumed and the curious gazes mostly ended.

Alec could still feel every single one of them on his skin.

He hugged her gently back before pulling away. "Hi," he murmured. "Is Simon –"

"Talking to Jace and Isabelle," Clary finished. "Hold on, though. Oliver!"

A red head separated from a small group of teenagers, who were all comparing different Marks.

"Yeah, Mom?" he asked when he reached them.

Clary grabbed Alec's wrist and pulled him into a circle of some sort. "Ollie, do you remember your Uncle Alec?"

Oliver looked a lot more like Jace than it would seem from his hair. But when he cocked his head to the side while thinking, he was Clary through and through. "Are you the one who stabbed Dad with a fork when he was eleven?"

Alec turned red. He and Jace had fought a lot when they were younger, and not just yelling. They tended to use any weapons they could get their hands on, and if they couldn't find any, used those hands. "Er. Yeah. Just once, though. Happy birthday, by the way."

Oliver's eyes shone with laughter. "Thanks. And Aunt Izzy said he deserved it. They only talk about you from before the whole vampire thing, though. I mean, I know all about it. Or most, at least. For one, you look exactly like you do in the pictures when you should be, like, forty, right? And then Aunt Izzy used to talk to that guy over there on the phone all the time about it. The warlock guy. You knew him, right?"

Alec didn't look the way Oliver pointed. He didn't want to see him, though he was painfully aware that Magnus saw him.

"Yes," Alec murmured. His voice was harsh, as if it was about to crack and he'd cry. Clary noticed and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Oliver takes after his father," she excused quickly. "And – well, you know Jace."

Oliver crossed his arms. Alec noticed that his Marks didn't just look like Marks – they looked more like a painted work than crude work from a stele.

"You're an artist," he observed. "Like your mom."

Oliver looked confused. "How'd you know?"

He shrugged. "Your Marks look more like pieces of art than the crap I used to scribble all over myself."

"Um. Thanks," he said quietly. "I can make runes like Mom, too. But the twins – they're climbing the wall – they're more like Dad. I mean, I can do some cool stuff and they're pretty good with runes, but it's different."

Clary whipped around so fast that Alec had to step back to not get hit by the blanket of hair. "Marie! Michael! _GET DOWN!_" she screamed.

The yard was big. Alec doubted that they heard her until he saw the dots on the wall scramble down as fast as they could.

"Go on, Ollie, join your friends," she urged. Oliver was off like a bullet.

Of all people in the Shadow World, Alec never expected the only one he'd enjoy talking to would be Clary.

He saw his mother and father in the corner with the Penhallows. Aline had definitely grown up. Another Shadowhunter girl had a hand gently around her waist and they stood a small distance away from her parents. Aline saw him and waved, but discreetly. He returned the gesture in the same way. His parents didn't acknowledge him in any way.

He had to admit that it hurt.

"Do you want something to drink? We've got stuff for you and Simon." Clary's voice snapped him out of the waves of internal pain.

Alec shook his head. "No. No, I want to say hello to Jace and leave."

The edges of Clary's mouth frowned. "Simon won't let you leave. He has the keys. And I think you should at least talk to Izzy."

"She'll hit me. Where it hurts." Alec remembered that Simon had limped back into the apartment that night, hours after it happened. For a vampire, it must've been bad.

Clary laughed uneasily. "She won't. She promised not to, I swear."

So, Alec led himself be led through the crowd to the spot he had been trying to hard not to look. It wasn't as colorful as he had expected.

Magnus was wearing dark jeans and a black t-shirt. The belt had rhinestones on it, and his nails had some sort of sparkle over the black polish. Oh, and his eyes were glittering so much it made Alec's vampire vision hurt. But besides the stunning green eyes, there was little color in Magnus's outfit. He looked dressed for a funeral.

The way he had when he proclaimed him dead.

A lump grew in Alec's throat and he tried not to choke. He couldn't choke. He wouldn't.

He hoped.

When they joined the circle (the opposite side from where Magnus was, because Alec was afraid that if he were too close, he'd reach out for his hand, simply on instinct), Isabelle and Simon were having a debate of sorts.

At least they looked like they were having fun.

"_I'm _married," Isabelle snapped.

"Well, not everyone's that lucky. Izzy, I look sixteen, who's going to marry a sixteen year old?"

"An idiot."

Alec smiled. He remembered very clearly that the couple had been discussing marriage before That Night.

"Look, I'm not totally pathetic. I've had girlfriends in the past two decades, okay?" Simon said in a desperate plea. Everyone must have noticed Alec's appearance, but nobody wanted to break this fight up yet.

"How many boyfriends have you had?" Magnus asked innocently.

Simon was about to glare when Alec found a perfect leeway into the conversation.

"Five," he said loudly. "Or six, if you count that guy in the bar."

Simon shot him that glare instead. "I was trying to introduce them to _you_."

Alec laughed and stuck his hands in his pockets. His laugh sounded fake. He just wanted to act normal, act fine, act perfectly happy, in front of Magnus. If he didn't, Magnus would know he was a failure. "Yeah, but you could never find me. It wasn't that hard, if you had tried."

"Why, where were you? A closet?" Magnus's words would have been playful in another life. Now they burned.

Simon's shoulders slumped in defeat. "He wasn't _just_ hiding in the closet, though! He… he did this whole Spiderman thing with climbing the walls and the ceiling and whenever I opened the door, he'd crawl out before I looked up and then jump behind me and scare the shit out of me and the guy I was trying to find him."

Clary laughed. "Alec, that's horrible."

Alec still didn't look straight at Magnus. He watched out of the corner of his eyes the man's smug smile. "When you have eternity, there's no point in being with someone if you don't like them."

Simon turned to him now. This was an old argument of theirs. "But if you have eternity, you've got forever to be with lots of people."

"Forever isn't eternity," Alec said, and surprisingly his voice was joined by another.

His eyes met Magnus's and they held the gaze for several seconds.

"Magnus," he said quietly. He forgot there were tons of people there, that Simon and Clary were right next to him and Isabelle and Jace still hadn't given the slight hint that they recognized him as their brother. "How are you?"

Magnus turned his head slightly to the side to peer at Alec. "Lucky to be alive. Something that can't be said for both of us."

Alec didn't argue. He was right. He felt empty inside, barely living. This was undead to the extreme.

"And you?"

Alec shrugged. "Okay, I guess. Looking for a new roommate, because this one is unbearable half the time."

Simon turned away then, muttering about how he couldn't catch a break anywhere and was going to find someone who liked him, like Jocelyn or Luke or perhaps the cat.

Isabelle then pulled her husband away so they could reprimand their daughter for something. Alec caught a look at the girl who looked exactly like Izzy at eight and cringed. She had a bloody nose and was blaming Michael.

Clary and Jace ran off to yell at their son for said nose bleed.

So, it was Alec and Magnus alone now. They both took a tiny step forward, barely closing the gap.

It was the moment of truth. Alec opened his mouth hesitantly. "Magnus?"

The warlock was examining his nails. Alec saw one that was chipped. It must have been driving Magnus insane. "Yes?"

"I've missed you. And I'm sorry."

Magnus lowered his hand and sighed. He shook his head slightly. "Alexander –"

"Please, Magnus. Be angry. Yell and scream. But at least call me Alec."

Magnus stepped forward. His eyes didn't look angry, but Alec knew he was good at masking things. He had centuries of perfecting the technique. "All right, _Alec._"

He winced. Maybe he shouldn't have insisted on Magnus calling him that. Then again, he had no idea how much spite you could fit into a two syllable word.

"You say you're sorry. I believe that, Alec, I really do. You're a horrible liar."

Alec started to grin. Magnus took another step towards him. Most would step away, simply because this was _the _Magnus Bane, _the _High Warlock of Brooklyn, and quite possibly _the _scariest person at times. Alec stood his ground. Another step and they'd be touching.

"And I believe you miss me, because –" Magnus cut off and brought a soft hand to Alec's cheek. It felt the same as it had on That Night. Alec trembled and placed a hand over Magnus's, keeping it there selfishly. "Because I miss you, too."

"I thought you hated me," Alec said. He slid Magnus's hand off his face and just held it, running his fingers over the rough, uneven nail polish that practically spelled _Magnus_ to Alec's senses.

"I do," Magnus said immediately. Alec dropped the hand in shock. Magnus shook his head rapidly. "I mean – I don't. I did. I do. I sort of… Alec, I just don't know."

"I hurt you," Alec said and took that last step, because Magnus sure as hell wasn't going to do it. He felt like he had in Angel Hall before the battle. He knew everyone was there and watching, but he just didn't care anymore. "I should have talked to you, I should have consulted you. I thought this would be a good thing. This… immortality."

Magnus was frowning deeply. "And what have you learned?"

"Never aging sucks sometimes. Vampires are so not worth my time – even though Simon really has been a good friend and you shouldn't blame him." Alec glanced over his shoulder to make sure the poor kid wasn't doubled over somewhere with Isabelle standing over him. They were on opposite sides of the yard, but otherwise okay. "If I thought I was hungry when I hit puberty… I hadn't been hungry like a vampire." Alec laughed quietly, trying to lighten Magnus's mood. He took another, somewhat impossible step forward. He was almost standing on the warlock. He took Magnus's face in his hands more boldly than he ever thought he'd be able to. "And that I love you even if you can't stand the sight of me."

Magnus didn't move away, so Alec kissed him softly. It was short, sweet, only a few seconds. Reminiscent of their first kiss, though the positions had been reversed. Magnus had done the talking and Alec the frozen in shock act.

"Please take me back," Alec pleaded. "Please."

Magnus looked at him with haunted eyes. "You hurt me so much. It's killing me."

"I'll make it up to you."

Magnus swallowed loudly. "I need more time."

"Alexander?"

Alec jumped back and turned around. Robert and Mayrse stood a few feet away, watching with concern.

"Mom," he said. His cheeks became very hot. "Dad." Oh, shoot, was his voice cracking? "Hi. It's… it's been a while."

Robert nodded slowly. "Yes. Yes, it has. How is the, uh… the vampirism going?"

Alec gulped and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Uh. Well. Jace made me a Daylighter and all, but you know that, so… yeah. I've been good. Um. If you want to catch up –"

"Yes, Alec, that would be great," Mayrse said before he could ramble further.

Alec smiled in relief. After all these years, he was concerned it would be more awkward with his parents. Thankfully, it was only as awkward as before. "Hold on," he said and turned around.

The warlock was gone.

* * *

Magnus looked for Alec's old hiding places that night. Years before, Alec had stashed little tubes of his own toothpaste in the apartment for after their make outs – to get rid of the "gross spice that only belongs in hot chocolate" taste. He preferred cinnamon toothpaste, but Alec's mouth had tasted of spearmint and he wasn't ready to get rid of it.

* * *

Alec picked up some cinnamon toothpaste on the way home. Simon thought he was insane when he insisted on stopped at the drugstore for "necessities." Alec threw a new comb and cologne on the counter, just because. He told Simon he wanted a new beginning (because he rarely brushed is hair and cologne made him gag). They reminded him of Magnus, how he'd use them just to impress the warlock. It _was _a beginning. Just not a new one.

* * *

Magnus didn't want to go to sleep. He drank a Bloody Mary instead and thought of Alec's lips on his.

* * *

Alec left Simon at home and went to a bar, claiming to want to meet someone new – _without _his horrific help. He sat alone and ordered a Bloody Mary. He was carded, but it passed the fake ID test. Discreetly, Alec managed to slip a bottle of blood into the glass. He drank it while thinking of Magnus's hands.

* * *

Magnus watched a movie with Chairman Meow the Third. He didn't pay much attention and tried to remember what he was lucky for. His magic, his money, his alcohol, his pictures, and his memories.

* * *

Alec threw up the alcohol in the bathroom. He didn't mean to, but vampires just weren't meant to digest anything but blood. Downworld bars made the Bloody Bloody Marys in a way he could hold down, but this was just a mundie place.

* * *

Magnus brushed his teeth – with the mint – and went to bed. He wished he had gone out. Then maybe the bed wouldn't be so cold.

* * *

Alec brushed his teeth with the cinnamon toothpaste and a water bottle while he walked to Magnus's apartment. He looked like an idiot. But maybe Magnus was right – that's what he was.

* * *

Magnus considered putting a sleeping spell on himself. Maybe that would help. He needed it desperately. The bags under his eyes would only get worse. He wondered idly how long he could last under the spell, if maybe he could go to sleep for years and years and wake up when all of his problems were dead.

* * *

Alec fumbled with the key in front of Magnus's apartment. The letters were still there, if not fading a little. He prayed, even though he couldn't say holy words, that Magnus wouldn't throw him out. And if he did do it, not cruelly.

* * *

Magnus grabbed a sleeping pill. It would only last a few hours, and it wouldn't be as good as a spell, but he did need his beauty sleep. And there were things to be done the next day. And the day after. And the day after.

* * *

Alec couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to unlock the door. He was shaking so terribly, he wasn't surprised if he looked like he had a seizure. He cursed loudly and punched the brick wall with all his might.

* * *

Magnus heard something, but he was just getting comfortable. Part of him said that it sounded like Alec, that he should go out and see. But he heard this so often. Almost every week for years. It was nothing but his damned imagination conjuring up what he could never let himself have again.

* * *

With a throbbing hand, Alec headed home again. Maybe next time, next week. Just maybe. He had screwed up forever, but there was always eternity to fix his mistakes.

Eternity lasted. Forever didn't.

* * *

Magnus fell asleep, dreaming of Alec Lightwood. He woke up regretfully when Meow demanded breakfast in the morning. He couldn't understand why he walked away, why he hadn't scooped Alec in his arms and never let go on That Night.

* * *

Alec collapsed on the couch and drifted off, dreaming of Magnus Bane. He woke up to another one night stand of Simon's giggling in the kitchen. He couldn't believe how much he had screwed them both over, how much he had truly ruined.

* * *

Neither could turn back time, even if they could wish it.

* * *

A decade passed. A century. Two centuries. Three. Four.

Alec Lightwood, still nineteen in appearance, but older than ever in mind, walked slowly to Magnus Bane's old apartment. Simon had gone to Europe a few decades before – he didn't keep track anymore. Everyone he had known was dead.

He still had the key. Every week turned into every year, then every two, then three, a few decades, and eventually Alec figured he might as well work up the courage once a century.

The lock didn't require it anymore. With one tug, Alec managed to open the rusty door. His heart was heavy while he walked up the stairs. Each creaked threateningly.

He bet nobody was home. He bet that Magnus had left or died or was just gone. He bet this was all for nothing.

A little cat – named Chairmaster Meow the Infinite, though Alec didn't know that – darted through his legs when he opened the door.

Magnus was sitting on the couch with a worn picture in one hand and a glass in the other.

Alec saw it was a picture of him.

"Magnus Bane?"

The warlock looked up. "I've had enough time."

The forever that came next lasted eternity.

* * *

**Note: **See? I'm a sap. I couldn't leave it off depressingly. I was going to. I had every intention on making this angst to the extreme. But I had to add that last little section.

So, I obviously have a lot of backstory for this in my mind. Tried to write it a few times, but I felt the further consequences were more interesting. Personally, I love Michael and Marie - which is odd, because I really dislike writing/reading Clary. She's all right in the books, I guess, but gets on my nerves very easily, which makes her in FF aggravating. Luckily, I was able to age her a bit and then minimize her appearance.

Well, I hope you enjoyed! Feedback is welcome, of course, I love reviews! How do you think I did? Realistic, unrealistic? Did I hit the characters between the eyes or did the bullet hit the person next to them? (I'm a bit tired, I apologize for weird phrasisms... Such as that one...). Thanks for reading, see you after NaNo!


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